Drama Queen Leeches: Who Needs them ? Not I.

Topic of the Day: Why do Females Love Drama?

I am a women that tries to stay away or out of drama but, for some reason I always slip in. I am not a women that craves the action of drama in my life, I barely like it on the big screen or in the media half the time. For some reason, I get involved because I am always trying help a friend or solve their problem and most of the time, I end up making the problem my problem and then I end up with scars and all I was trying to do is help.

Additional Questions:

Why do women like to add their friends into their drama?
When women get out of one situation why do they put themselves in another situations?
When is it right to say "NO"?

I have the answer to my last question. The answer is NOW, RIGHT NOW. Tell all your friends, that have drama field lives to suck on an egg & leave your out of it. Just say "NO...."

~Ash~

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Failing Test: To Weep or To Try Again & Win

When you keep on failing test after test... its no time to mope & cry. What does that solve anyways, Nothing at all... it just makes you feel worst about yourself and the test that you failed.

You could either dwell in your sorrow or try again. The more you try, you are bound to win. The key to pasting any test is having the knowledge of what on the test. Once you know your stuff, can't nobody tell nothing that you won't pass. Stay Focus. Resist distractions. Stay far away from leeches. And always stay in Faith & Be confidenct.

~Ash~

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Decision Time: To Be Selfish or To Not To Be Selfish.. That is Not a Question

Sometimes when you are making a decision, it best to think of both parties and not just yourself.

I seriously think if people would do that FIRST, it would resist a whole lot of trouble and solve more problems, but that's just my opinion vs the world's opinion thats says Me FIRST, You SECOND to LAST. If people were a bit more understanding and caring it would be a bit more easy to eliminate confusion, actually there probably would be less confusion because both parties would understand what the other person is doing is either for their best interest.

Hmm... or maybe we all should just be selfish and just care about our needs only and none of the other person.

Sounds good to me!!! I just might try it out for a couple days, weeks, or months... or maybe a year... instead of 2011 being the year of "Everything's gonna be Alright,"... I'm gonna change it to "Everything is gonna go my way or it's the highway," What you think? I just made that up on the spot.

Anyways, I'm joking, I'm not changing myself to be like other people and their selfish ways, I'm gonna stay me, caring little me.... I'm just gonna care less about people and more about me.

In other words, I'm gonna Mind my own BUSINESS & stay out of other people business. LoL I know that will help both parties... it's especially gonna help me and that's the best decision ever for me :-)

~Ash~

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I Walk Alone

Right now, I feel so upset with myself. I'm so upset with myself that I am laughing because this is not me.

Have you ever wish you never met person that you have grown close to but not on purpose tho ?

Have you ever made a mistake that you promise yourself that you wouldn't make again?

Do you have any regrets?

Right now, how I am feeling I am regreting meeting one of my friends because I'm starting to feel like the way this person feels & acts with conflict is effecting me and my emotions because their emotions is damage. You know that saying "Misery like company" well that statement seems like it one of my friends favorite quotes because they likes attention and to me that selfish especially when you see that your friend is having a good day and then booom, good day turns sour for no reason at all.

Me & Overthinking - Weeks ago, I examine myself and my overthinking and it had lessed until today... I was fine until I had lunch and then afterwards I started feeling lonely for no reason... I don't get lonely easily cause usually I'm around people and I'm fine but for some odd reason I felt lonely and I was telling myself, that's stupid you have no reason to feel this way and you need to return that trade back to it's owner but the owner couldn't be found.

Anyways, to cut my story short... today I found myself drifting back into overthinking... and I was kinda upset with self over that... yes I'm over beating myself up because I know better but it just heart me because I dont like jumping to conclusions especially if I don't know what's going on.

The Effect of my Overthinking
+ I make things worst
+ I beat up myself about it
+ I hurt my brain with all the non sense thinking

Solution: Don't worry.. Don't second guess... No Mind reading

Decesion: Spend less time on social networks and negetative & unstable friend

---When I make a decision, I keep it especially if it's effecting the way I interact with other people ---

~Ash~

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The We Need to Talk Discussion

Tonight's Topic:  When a women says she wants to talk to you what does that mean to you ?

When a women says she wants to talk to a man, it can mean any reason at all.

Here are some of the reasons why she wants to talk to you LOL: 

• She is concerned about you and your well - being.
• She want to feel you out to see if you have feeling for her.
• She is nosy.
• She wants to be apart of your life.

Simple: SHE JUST WANTS TO TALK 

Truthfully, any of these reason can be why the woman wants to talk to you but, usually it's the last one...she just wants to talk and you are the person she feels she needs to talk to.  It's never that deep well for me it isn't.  

When I tell a guy, I want to talk to him, usually I just want to talk, eating, and have fun without any pressure or him thinking that I have hopes of us being together especially if he only sees us as friends.  To me, if I had those hope of that in return without let him know upfront would be foolishness and I'm not a fool or trying to fool anyone but any who what does this question mean to you.

~Ash~

Inspiration for the Day: Ms. Lauryn Hill

So... I was on my tumbler and I saw a video that my friend Bhoranie Seide posted on her page.  

This video was a video of Lauryn Hill at age 25 speaking to a bunch of high school students.

It inspired me and I hope it can do the same for you. Both video are worth watching every minute.

Links 
Lauryn Hill speech on Youtube
My Tumblr - Follow Me
Bhoranie's Tumblr - Follow her

Life, Love, & Poetry

Ok, so I finally chose which poems I am going to perform this Saturday at  the Rev Cafe for the Kingdom Within Poetic Praise event.  Tickets are still $5 online & $7 at the door.

I am doing The Run Around, Don't Doubt... Figure it Out, and So.. Lord why? (I am going to make a video for that one, so you can understand it because it's a conversation).  So... I'm EXCITED.. that's all I can say about that.. I'm gonna get to practicing on Monday.

WHAT'S ON THE MIND OF AN ASH

• What to wear ? - Okay, so we went to church on Friday.. I was LATE but I still heard Pastor G preach and he was dope like usual... so Austyn tonight at Sweet Tomates says he wants to go to church TODAY which was random & wierd for him to say that cause well he's Austyn, so I'm thinkin what am I going to where... I wore a dress yesterday to the wedding... I'm kinda feeling long sleeve tee & jeans... the Lord says come as you are.. so I am :-)
• My lil bruh Calvin - I really appreciate him & he gave me a shout out today LOL
• Him :-)- I'm really proud of him and his friends.  I'm looking forward to all that God has plan for them as a whole & because they have a great business a head of them.  It's crazy because I honestly i do still think about HIM a lot  but, it's not the same as last year... last year, I was thinking about Me & Him together... now I'm just thinking about Him bettering himself... he has a lot a head of him ... so one word FOCUS... I still miss tho. 
• Hungry - I really want some ice cream but I have none... NEXT thought...
• This wedding - Congrats Oshea & Fransisco Vega 

Ok.... so I have been to many weddings and I have also been in a few but that was when I was a kid.  I'm so ready to be someone..... brideMAID.... or maid or honor... See y'all thought I was bout to say I'm ready to be someones BRIDE aka someone's WIFE... that will come in God's timing... he's still working on me and using me while I'm single and I appreciate the attention. Thanks God LOL.

But anyways, back to my topic, I have never been to a wedding where I left stuck in thought of joy, peace, & happiness.  The wedding was so beautiful and pure.. you could seriously feel the love in the room.  I think the reason why my perspective of love and marriage has changed and I will never look at it the same every again  because the last time I remember going to a wedding... I think I was a teenager & marriage wasn't really on my mind... when I was a teenager believe it or not... I didn't really care about guys when I was in high school.. I was too focus on God & school and I blame my youth pastor for that LOL Thank Vega :-p... then came COLLEGE My eyes were opened LOL Being an attendant at The Vegas wedding has got me looking forward to my wedding day & night LOL One day...... :-) I am so happy for you two... Congrats guys!!!

So... I was about to go to sleep and then I saw my friend Kimberly DeWitt posted a video of herself letting God use her through spoken word.. This video is called Your Will... I hope this can inspire you as much as it inspired me.  Thanks Kim :-)

Links
http://www.voiceofhopeinternational.org/
http://www.osheaandfrankie.com/
Kimberly DeWitt - Youtube
My Lil Bruh Calvin's Blog

~Ash~

So...I'm doing a show. Pray I remember MY WORDS... :-)

Ok... so I am performing some of my poetry on January 22, 2011 at REV Coffee for Voice of Hope International presents Kingdom Within Poetic Praise featuring Daya Lorin & Preacher Man with Young King, it's a poetry and music event benefiting the shipping of bibles to Africa. Tickets are $5 online & $7 at the door, all proceeds go towards the shipment.

I'm excited because I haven't performed in a long time... well a couple of months but, this should be fun.  I just have to put my stuff to memory. That should be easy, Right? Wrong... it takes time to remember a bunch of words, but I see it like this I remember everybody else's stuff (I know the lyrics to more then a 1,000 songs), so I will remember my word especially since they are... well my words 

John 14:26 But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatever I have said to you.(AKJV)

Yep, the Lord always brings things back to my remembrance, whatever I need to remember.. whatever the subject matter is. So.. I am gonna do my thang, Saturday, January 22, 2011... is gonna be a great day... hmm that's gonna be a great week. Wait, that's next week... I guess I need to finish these couple of entries and I'm set. It's gonna be to fun,  i  just might scare away some old people with my words. I bet. But anyways.. I'm excited.. Everything's gonna be ALRIGHT... after this show.. I will do Apache... and then another spot and then another one after that... I'm young I got the time... Ok Good night 

Links

Voice of Hope International  

Facebook - Voice of Hope International

Kingdom Within Poetic Praise event

http://www.dayalorin.com/

Facebook - Daya-Lorin

~Ash~

Snow Day #2

So... I'm feeling some kinda of way and I just felt like writing since I'm stuck in the house... all ALONE with my lonesome.  :-P
WINTER
Winter has this random effect on SINGLE people of all ages. Like right now, I should be feeling LONELY & SAD cause I'm at home ALONE & I'm SINGLE but... for some odd reason I'm OKAY. Yes, I will admit I am missing a certain person... I've been missing that person for days and weeks, but I know that person is being taken care of and I shouldn't worry because that person is OKAY :-) Anyways, a question running in my head when I think of being single and the winter time.

1. Why are there so many lonely people in the winter and why are there so many lonely Christmas songs...aka What do the Lonely do at Christmas & Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away...LOL what's the deal ?

Ok, that's the only question I could think of for now.... lol cause my mind is in a bunch of other places.
What's on My Mind

• When is the snow going to melt, I got things to do
• This is my last quarter at Aia, I'm excited for my next step in my life but I'm really gonna miss being in school.. I've met a lot of cool people & I have learned a lot being there
• I'm hungry & what some CHEESE pizza with some chi tea or that sparkling pink lemonade from Target but I'm FASTING for 21 days.. so far so good tho
• I want to go outside & play in the snow but... for some odd reason when I want to go outside everybody & their pets be wanting to stay indoors.. what's up with that?
• I have to past these 2 tests... It just means to much to me & to my life.. Can't wait to get it over with 
• When will I ___________ hmm time will tell
• I want to listen to some of my favorite tunes but it leads my mind to thinking of.........
• I really want some ice cream right now... FASTING
• Jeffery Campbell oh how I love you :-) Your shoes are to live for 
• Subs in the park in the Spring :-)
• I need to get my stuff & business name copy-written before somebody jack me for my paper lol
• I can't wait till I get a REAL job so I can get an apartment... either I'm staying here or I'm moving out of state either to NYC or Cali... we will see... but I am not moving to Texas 

And that's about it.....


Oh yeah last minute thought... Will I ever see him again.. so we can just talk and just maybe... just maybe be friends & just friends... idk Time will tell on that also 


Hmm I think I am gonna study and watch a movie... wish I could have some kettle corn.... FASTING
~Ash~

What's hidden from you is sometimes hidden within you

The Run Around

Run,

Run,

Run,

But you sho can't hide

We run around town

Around and around

To find something

That can't be found

What we are seeking for

Is something that we adore

Even though we have left it behind

The connection has been lost, toss with a cost

Cause we are all ways on the grind

If only we could take the time

To realize

That what we are in search for

Has lived within us for all this time

We need it to survive in this life

To stay alive in this life

But what will we decide

We can either

Decline,

run & hide

Or

Be bold & kind

& forfill what's in design

For us

Trust is a must

It keeps us just

It keeps our mind align

With reality combine

with what's yours & what's mine

Maybe we will find

what's hidden between the lines

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Feelings

Just trying to find my way
Find my way back to safe-tay
where I had that complete protection
and direction
of what to do
or where to go
who to meet
or how to show
my true feelings
upon whatever
or whomever
wants to listen
or pay attention
I have a lot to say
this pain being itchin
me
to speak
up for me
so I can let all know
how i feel about what all is going on
around we
Gotta some changes to make ya know
so Let's go

Finally... Finish.. I have so many more drafts to go

Ok so when I write majority of my poetry are TO BE CONTINUED or left with some type of of cliffhanger... wait aint that the same thing.  Well, anyways I just finished a poem that I was working on in June of last year and I post it in August of last year and I just finished this year.

I know... that's horrible but I had got writer's block & I got distracted by LIFE... whatever.

Here it is :

Tell me what's on your mind

and I will do the same.

If you tell me you're doing fine

then I will know who to blame.

What actually does fine mean ?

All I ask is for you to explain

You say fine is fine,

why do you complain?

I complain

Because...

The truth is all I proclaim

I feel like you are hiding something

which is why I am going insane

You are not the same I tell you

You are not the same

You stare me right in the face

Tell me I need to find a place

So I can chill and calm down

I say ok

But with a frown

I settle down

Thanks Calvin!!!!!

So... This is How I Feel Some Times When I Write!!! 

My friend Calvin Fordham introduced me to SinFest, I think a couple weeks ago but, I never took the time to really looking into any of the comics unless he sent them to me via facebook.  And now I feel like a Sin Fest addict.  Sin Fest is so easy to relate to, even older couples  can relate.   The creator is Tatsuya Ishida, a Japanese American philosopher.  He kinda looks like Slick in the above comic.  Everybody when you get some down time check out sinfest.net when you want to be cheered up.  Ok I'm done for the day with Sin Fest. Thanks Calvin!!!!

Here is a link the beginning of this comic strip 

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=139

~Ash~

Unsolved Mysterious

So.. I'm having the most weirdest moment right now.  I'm not thinking about anything but I can't stop laughing and smiling.  Oh my Lord, what is wrong with me? I wish I knew why I was laughing and smiling so hard but I don't.  Sometimes we as people be wanting to know the answers to every question to solve a problem.  We feel if the problem has some sort of a solution we can conclude it and be the HERO.  But sometimes some problems are just left unsolved... Unsolved Mysterious

~Ash~

Last year I was FEARFUL.. this year I am FIERCE..

It's crazy how sometimes I leap before I think."Live life with no regrets..Really?"  Well, that was back in 2010. This year everything is gonna be alright...

Last year, I ....... this year I..... cause everything is gonna be alright

• Last year, I was fearFUL about everything.... this year I am fearLESS about everything cause everything is gonna be alright.
• Last year, I took upon a load that well I couldn't bare... this year I am only going to take things one at a time its all gonna get done cause everything gonna be alright.
• Last year, I swear I was SUPERWOMAN, trying to help everyone with an issue but forgetting about myself... this year ME comes 1st so I won't end up a CATWOMAN...lonely with 30 cats... you folks are just gonna have to deal with that... but I love ya'll tho everything gonna be alright

But for real tho, I can't complain tho.  Last year, was a good year.. it actually was a great year cause I learned alot about life and relationships with people and most of all I learned a lot about me.

What I learned or what was brought back to my remembrance in 2010

• Don't jump to conclusions... wait a minute or 2
• Ask questions & don't be afraid of the answers... it just might be what you are looking for
• Pay attention to detail at all times because you just might need some of that information
• Love makes the world go round but honesty, understanding & communication makes it function properly
• Take a walk on the wild side, it's fun but don't get too buckwild 
• Dreamkillers are the biggest haters 
• FOCUS!!!!

I learned plenty more but I don't want this to be too long... What did you learn back in 2010 and what are you looking forward to this year in 2011?

~Ash~