I want....

I am a women
Yet I still feel like a girl
Maybe cause i still have that twist & turl
That the young girls do
I dont know
All I know is
I want what I want
What I want want want
Yeah like Rihanna
But not complete like her
Cause she get coocoo
And that aint me
Hmmmmm

TO BE CONT till I FIND A SOLUTION....

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Proud

I'm proud of you
But I still dont want you
I'm proud of me
Cause even tho you said the right words
They didnt effect me... Sorry
Once you put ya words to action
& breath out some kinda satifaction
Then maybe
just maybe
you'll get some action
With me or somebody
I don't know
All I know is I want you to do something
Something great
Something wonderful
For yourself
I know you are capable
Because I know you
And I love you

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To my knowledge, its over....

Its over
I know it
You know it
Actually
We both probably been known it
For a long time
But just said nothing
Trying to make whatever
was there
To reappear
But its gone
And probably
Wont be back
For how long
Who knows
I dont
And for right now
Im not trying to figure it out

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How im feel right now lol

Feeling kinda strange
Maybe it's the week
Today is on Wednesday
Maybe it's cause I talked to my mommy
I dont know
All I know is I dont want to be bother
By you or those that look like you
Just leave me be
Give me time to think
Maybe a week
I will be fine
& so will you
So i'm gonna be kind
And not say F you
That would be rude
& not right
The best thing that i would like
Is for us to stay tight
But not to close because ya never know
What one could be holding on to

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Random Thought Before I Go to Bed: Games

Question: Why do we play games... mind games or tricks or clues... etc? Why?

A: IDK... I think its kinda natural & embeded in women or men to do this. I actually believe we don't know we are doing this.

Women: We are always waiting for guys to take the lead in everything & that kind hinder us from stepping out with making decision which is a shame because before them you was being all INDEPENDANT & stuff.. What happen?

Men: You guys be acting CLUELESS... but I swear ya'll are smart. Like I swear ya'll know how to get what ya'll want well some of ya'll. At times, you don't even have to do anything & you just get it handed to you for FREE

Women: If you want to talk to him, talk to him, call him or text him... but dont overdo it tho & you can wait on him to contact you but that might take some time... so maybe you should just contact him so you won't die

Men: Don't keep a woman waiting or she will move on to another dude

Women: The same in reverse

Okay I'm going to bed.

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Lately...

Lately,
I been buggin
I been feelin a bit of Up & Down
It's like someone put me in a blender
And got my head spinning around and around
That for some reason, I could no longer hear the sound
Of my own voice
You know that Inner Me that tells you
What's right & what's wrong
Which way to go & which way to turn
Who to talk to & who to leave alone

Lately,
I been igoring it all
With fear that I might fall
Sadly, I know
That's not the way to go
I had fell into a pit that I had digged
And for some reason, I didnt know how to get out of it.

My mind kept on coming up with all these questions of Groupies vs. Friends...
Life or Death....
Where should I go...
When does this story end ?
I just scream out "NO, I can't do this anymore..
Sending myself into isolation... confusion... Self doubt...
That's not what I live for,
That's not what I'm about"

Back to the Norm
Back to my Regular Form
Embracing my imperfections
Leading me into the right direction
Of where I should I go
Who I should I know

Lately,
I been feeling good
I been getting it in
Endlessly Winning
With a friend
Thank you God for bring me out
With you.. there is no reason to doubt.

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Call Me

I want you to call me
When you're thinking of me
Yeah, texting is good
Facebook is great
But honey, I really want you to take me on a date
You know a nice night on the town
Maybe a place where nobody familar is around
Something simple & sweet
Don't be afraid to be cheesy or cheap
I just want to get away from the normal chillin & cozin in your manly cave
And start cruising & moving outdoors away from your homazes
I want to be with you
Get to know you
See if I really like you
And not just "the silly little things" that we do
You mean more to me that that
I actually care about you
And the things that you do that make you.. you
So go on head & call me boo
Hopefully, I'll see you soon.

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Random Thoughts while watching Monster's INC with the Bro

* I want a job but it has to be flexible so I still have a life & work on Descova U & do events / photo shoots

* I think I finally pushed HIM alway & all I did was give God credit for me being so compassionate lol ok I'm overthinking but if I'm right this is gonna be funny

* I really would like a REALITY TV SHOW of my life... show the world who I am & the things I do & showing them my cool friends... i have some cool people in my life

* I cant wait to dye my hair & finally pierce my nose... im gonna def do that when i finally start driving

* Some times I want to date & have a boyfriend but at times i don't even want to have friends because at times it all a bit too much & i just be want to keep to myself

* Can't wait to visit NYC

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