So..
I'm still awake but I'm bout to go to bed in a few. When my mind is going usually, I like to keep to myself but tonight, I let loose and talked with (2) of friends (1 male & 1 female ) on a situations that I thought I would never understand till now..
Tonight.. or may I say today I have 2 questions & they all begin with WHY?
(1) Why do WOMEN let MEN control them ?
(2) Why do MEN act like JERKS once they realize they have control? lol
The answer to both of these questions is simple We... WOMEN let them. I have these discussions almost once a week and it's always the same answer. I truly believe if we women would stop saying We are fine when a guy ask "how we are doing" then we would resolve alot of problems and confusion. Women don't be afraid to tell your dude that you hate his stinkin guts... ok you might not say those exact words but don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.. it will actually help him understand you better.
Overall Honesty & Understanding is key in any type of relationship. Be upfront & No sugar coding... Just be Real & transparent.. No hiding.. Ladies stop being PUNKS
Ok I'm going to bed.. here's Human Nature by MJ. Good Night !!!!
Man or Woman, No one wants to get played.
ReplyDeleteThe thing with girls saying "I'm fine" when its obvious they are not just annoys me.
ReplyDelete"Honesty & Understanding is key in any type of relationship. Be upfront & No sugar coding... Just be Real & transparent"
That about sums it up... most people want realness without being willing to give it. Its better to b honest and end up with hurt feelings than fell good in a lie.
So true... I don't know why we always say "I'm fine" in almost every situation... I guess we feel like if we say that then we will resist conflict or an argument that's bond to happen lol. Overall, I feel women are scared sometimes to verbal their true feelings because they want the other party to be happy.. so they hide their true feelings to protect the other person & themselves.
ReplyDeleteI dont know why most women cant confront the men in their lives but maybe its because they are afraid to lose them. Some women feel as though they would rather deal with their men then deal with no man,lol! Its sad but true.
ReplyDeletePshh, I stopped with that "I'm fine" BS. I tell a dude with a quickness if I have a beef with him. I sometimes start the conversation. And don't let him ask me what's wrong, because it's ALL coming out then. I'm too old to keep shxt to myself. Homie you gone know if I'm mad at you AND why. You teach people how to treat you. I started out teaching them the wrong way, so now I'm in the process of re-teaching. Hmmm... how about that?! lol
ReplyDeleteI completely agree on what you're saying we as women should learn to express our selves more without fear or something just holding us back. I've found that in one of my past relationships that I would hold back feelings because I didn't want to "lose" him or make him more stressed out because he already had stress from work and other stuff. Even though he would be a complete butt I would still hold back as much as I could until I would have to say something and then it was already too late. Thats why now I make sure I express myself no matter what so the problems can be resolved from the beginning.
ReplyDeleteI think you got it boss! Women let the men out of insecurity. She underestimates her true value, and overestimates his. She doesn't realize that men like THAT are a dime a dozen. After convincing herself that she can't do any better and that she's just being too sensitive, she then talks herself into accepting that he's actually the one, so she learns to cope. Upsetting him is the last thing she wants to do, because she feels that at any time he could abandon her.
ReplyDeleteThe "male" that needs that kind of power over a woman, is trying to stroke his own ego because he really feels out of control in other areas of his life. Until he decides to "man up", he'll appreciate having nothing more than a puppy, trained to make him feel good. Thank God all men aren't like that.
Karen, sounds like my kind of woman (not a blogger pickup line) but if women (especially the ladies I know) were REAL like that life would be so much better for them and myself as well
ReplyDeleteu should just be open and real and tell them how u feel
ReplyDeleteno one wants to be alone, male or female. We all tolerate things to an extent because we all have a limit/breaking point. Avoiding conflict tends to be the best way keep the person around, so as Kevin Hart says, we become "yes men" lol. I don't believe women let men "control" anything nowadays because of that whole independence thing, but some are afraid to just say no because that biological clock is ticking and trust me it is hard to start over. then again, there do be some young people who don't know any better, but eventually they will learn. If you will, think of control as a sacrifice. What do anyone want more then anything besides financial stability...happiness right? How important is that to you? to some, if giving up control means not being lonely for the rest of one's life, then fuck it...at least they'll be "happy," and won't have to go to sleep alone at night...believe it or not, men can be the same way too, they're called old rich men lol. My advice...don't settle for just anyone, know your worth and believe that there is someone out there who will appreciate everything that you are just by being you. We all be in relationships that be having you wondering "what if" and if that's you, move the hell on. If you have someone that's good to you and gives you everything you need and more, then work it out and don't let them go without a fight...control is a two-way street, it's something that is shared, a democracy, and balance. for every strong person, there is another standing right beside them, trust me, it takes 2!!
ReplyDeleteI agree: Women allow it to happen but then again u have some women who want to try do hard for it not to happen that they act a certain way and mess up something real: why in a relationship must ppl feel the need to gain the upper hand?. is it a game? if so --then its not a relationship: i think men only try to gain control because once u have control then the submissive partner is more willing to do more than a non-submissive partner. its quite sad but its HUMAN NATURE to gain the upper hand
ReplyDelete1) They don't want to be alone so they allow him to have his say then it gets out of control and she doesn't know how to get out
ReplyDelete2) He doesn't want to be alone so he thinks by making her feel like shit will make her stay with him
How about....
ReplyDeleteDo away entirely with the concept of "control" and understand that in a "REAL"ATIONSHIP there is mutual endeavor. Never would I want to control a women, or want a women that likes to be controlled nor do I wanna be controlled by a woman. We must be compliments to one another... and in order to COMPliment we must first equally understand and contribute to what it is to COMPromise.
Just my $0.02
Okay seriously....if anyone lets anyone control them they are mindless....:SLAVE:...(excluding cultural/and or religious standards)....anyways... Personally i believe why men control women is bc the woman let themselves be controlled weather out of fear or blind so called love....they feel that when they let the men control their lives it makes him feel like more of a man or it will make them love them more...whatever the reason females make themselves the victim.... #2....They act this way bc we let them..
ReplyDeleteI Feel Ya Girl!!!!!!! Tell It!!!!!!!!!! It's The Truth!!!! If Something Upsets You & Is Bothering You Say It!!!!!! We Have God Given Intuitions & Discernment To Know When Something Is Not Right Or On The Other Hand If Something Keeps Happen...ing Over And Over Again And It's A Problem For You Tell The Person! Everyday People Are Changing And Improving & Becoming Better. At The Same Time When Something Is Addressed And Brought Up Don't Shut Down And Ignore & Avoid A Person Answer Them & Be Direct Don't Beat Around The Bush! This Is Something I Take For Myself & That I'm Learning In My Own Life..... Confront Stuff Head On! Deal With It & Move On For The Better!
ReplyDelete@Vanessa - I agree with you on that. I have met many women that would rather stay with a man that they aren't feeling then just be happy & single.. I personally don't get it.
ReplyDelete@Karen - I love your attitude!!! Overall, that's how I feel every woman should be.. OUTSPOKEN with the way they feel.. there really is no use in holding things in cause you are really doing yourself damage cause you are the one that's gonna be thinking bout all that crap lol
I personally need to be a bit more outspoken when it comes to relationship with men that I'm attracted too.. I'm working on it daily
@1 - I tend to do that sometimes "hold back information" cause I hate conflict but lately I just been facing that with everybody lol Overall if u have a problem Voice it & find a conclusion :-)
@Jenise - Wow!!! I totally agree with u on that note.. I'm thankfully all guys aren't like that.. if so then there would be a bunch of single & uphappy women on the earth lol
@Kay-Nellz - I agree with you.. I think i should have use another word other than control lol
--->Wow how this convo get on to CONTROL... oh yeah that's my fault hahaha<---
But anyways...
Overall what I was saying is Why do women let men control their emotions (I should have said that lol) Women speak out loud & proud & tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth :-)
I think this happens when both parties become comfortable in their relationship. I don't mean to say that it applies to all relationships, just the cases where the woman feels as if she's got it good and that she doesn't want her man to leave. She let's her guard down and lets her man take advantage of her in order to "keep him happy". If he gets his way all the time with her, then he won't feel the need to find anyone else right?
ReplyDeleteWRONG.
But that's what it seems like.
I agree with you @Miss Blossy. I truly believe when it comes to relationship people get to comfortable with the same ol same ol. And women will do anything to keep a man even if they don't even love him... they will do anything to keep him cause they like the whole feel of having someone to share their life with... but wouldnt you rather be with someone who loves you for you & every part of you.
ReplyDeleteI truly believe every believe every woman should be with a man that loves her just as much as she loves him that it doesnt matter what she says to him.. either it's good, bad or ugly.. he will just take her as she is & love her till death due them part
Ya know...